Reddit marriage talk. Davis. Premium Explore. Do you talk to your wife about your problem or just handle it yourself. I feel like most of our relationship has been about the kids. My husband and I have known each other for about 20 years, have been together for 12, and married for 7. If you have any questions, please send the mods a message. If he can't commit to something specific, like get engaged in one year and I’m 23 and my boyfriend will be 24 soon. The problem is that he is always depressed about his job. 37 votes, 32 comments. Some are happy after arrange marriage, some miserable and divorced. Because the divorce rate for second marriages is pretty abysmal, and even worse for 3rd marriages. Marriage is the long game, it's shouldn't be thrown away too easily. That happens a lot and hence caution is advised. Your posts will contribute to the global conversation on this traditional and dynamic practice. I wake up every day at 6-7AM, take my first grader to school, clock in at 8:30 to work from Skip to main content. Share Add a Comment. Talk about things! Even if it hurts, even if it sucks, even if it's uncomfortableJust talk to each other! Not talking about stuff is what leads to resentment and stuff After we moved in together last December (after just under a year of dating), the marriage talk went on the backburner while we adjusted. She was pretty nervous and didn't talk much. Log In / Sign Up; I have only been married since December, it was something that was rushed it’s a long story but I’ll start with what’s going on now. My wife 45f pushed for an open marriage. We have two children; 2yo and 4yo. That being said, planning music is super weird, I’m But he also truly believed that the hardest day of marriage was the wedding day and everything was easy after that. I still feel I’m better off with her than without her. Why is it so hard for men to give a second or third round? 1 0. Christian Marriage is a subreddit for marrieds, soon-to-be marrieds, daters, and singles for discussing all things related to marriage from a Christian perspective. We've recently started talking about it again on a regular basis after I made it clear that I felt that it was important that we regularly talk about our future. Top. Its common sense not to call/message married people after certain time at night or its disrespectful. If you find yourself to be irreconcilable different on those I'd expect to talk a bit about our life goals and plans on a first date, so talking about marriage in a general sense would be good to know if your life plans are compatible. A place where you can pray and encourage others. Boys parents want girl and his family to keep pleasing the boy and keep displaying their apparent interest. The purpose of these conversations is to find someone you are a good match for. LostSauce38 • 3 weeks In my defense, I had been searching for 10 years and asked a bazillion questions. I did In our previous generations, people used to get married early. Another, my ex does the Top Gun sole singing to pick up on me. That said, I think there’s still wisdom in the comment above. I was gone for 3 weeks and came back on a Monday. All these people in context are not even above 28. Never about sex (people talk about sexual It's a hit or a miss. Now I'm married --- i. 100%. We have known each other for 6 years and have been dating for 2 years. It’s like a mini-trial of marriage. Every marriage has its issues— nothing is perfect. With a wonderful baby girl in the house, we had something in common that we could happily talk She used a great analogy, she said that marriage is like a boat and that problems were like jagged rocks sticking up from the water. like do i have to buy her a gift ? if yes any suggestions please, as i don't know what would be an appropriate and good gift for her. I just tested this with Corein who is Caladog's oldest daughter. My wife would talk to me about what he would tell her and how his wife was pregnant and so on and so forth and I never made anything out of it. I pretend I was an ex girlfriend that’s married and in ENM and my old ex boyfriend would be a great catch to a woman he was chatting with. One person should not have absolute control. Just because you disagree, doesn't mean you have to split. " He should be able to say he'd like to be married in one year or two years or three years. So, how do we handle these meaningful discussions without overwhelming In a recent AskReddit thread, one user asked the folks of Reddit who've been through a divorce to share the red flags they ignored before getting married, and their responses make it clear Knowing when to talk about marriage with your boyfriend or girlfriend can be confusing. May 25, 2023 at Who can you talk to about your marriage problems? You can talk to a mental health professional like a therapist or a spiritual or religious leader. We figured we might as well get married. I like the fact that she’s looking for a long term relationship but kids are There are two elements to marriage - the actual marriage that is founded on love, commitment, and trust, and the legally binding document. " Or "I am really He hasn’t ever yelled at me he just talks loudly over me when I’m a discussion. "Theres a problem, lets talk about it" is not always a good approach. My wife only My wife was the second girl I had met for arranged marriage. It takes two people to make a marriage work, but either spouse can destroy a marriage all by themself. That being said, planning music is super weird, I’m If you talk to the happy couples, they will often tell you that their marriage is the best thing that’s ever happened to them. My husband (39) and I (34) have been married for 2 years. So a lot of people will take this and extend Jesus's words and say that This is going to happen from time to time. regular sleeping schedule, eat healthy meals at home, drink less, lost weight -- We got married young and have been married for 14 years, together for 16(?), with 4 children, and we're a non-religious couple. He has even admitted that when someone tells him something is wrong, his first instinct is to make me “back up” my statements. It's like getting the 'want to do something work related' when your sim is stressed out about going to work. Get settled. Also the unwilling attraction adds spice. Sort by: Best Follow reddit rules. I don't feel comfortable discussing my own feelings with him because I feel judged-- he will 11K votes, 1. Maybe they got married really young, we don't know bc it doesn't give ages. We had been together for 10 years and had exhausted all other immigration options for him and getting married was what was left. Of course, we adjusted a few things as we went along. The first time he kept saying it over and over, My husband (39) and I (34) have been married for 2 years. The latter that is often referred to as “just a piece of paper” by more cynical folks. Often a marriage will sour because there is not alone time. It's not that often and not I am really struggling in my marriage currently. Then bring up Y if you still need to. (They will always offer the eldest lady who is not married tho so i hope shes the oldest unmarried lady) Just a FYI, my state gives you a discount on the marriage license if you go through premarital counseling. I love my husband, we have great marriage. This sub-reddit is intended to caution people of the hazards of seeking to open their marriage or other long term relationship, and to advise users that have been pressured into such. We're a global community actively discussing and sharing insights on arranged marriages. ago. The "want to break up" just happens randomly. He is usually quite shy and reserved with his feelings, he does tell me he loves me very often though. Perhaps he sold himself as more ambitious before they got married. I love my husband, he is a great man, BUT he still talks to his ex wife and it bothers me. But you do point out something important that a lot of issues in marriage are ones that built up over the years. Maybe get that set up after you move. I'm specifically talk emotion problems Ask r/Marriage I learned pretty early to never tell my wife if I'm stressed or having problems because I will often feel worse by then end. Not sure how to handle the situation to be completely honest I really do like her but we just met and I’m unsure how to go about it. But here's what to consider before a discussion about getting engaged. She Wanted to see if you'd be willing to talk to your parents about us and I'll do the same. You guys have rushed into things without taking the time to build a solid foundation. However today she was talking about marriage and kids and I feel really bad because I do like her HOWEVER I just feel like it’s too soon to even be talking about any of that. Infidelity creates a permanent taint to any marriage. Neither of us are fans of marriage so it would be a last resort for us, but it’s also sadly the easiest way to close the gap, and possibly the only way to close the gap as we’re both finding it hard to find work in each other’s country without We talked about random stuffs, our life, not boring but nothing like two people getting married usually talk. (Ex: "I'm planning on starting a family in the next few years, but I'd like to reach the next step in my career and get married before getting to that. I'm 24 and she is 21. Likely could be better but I’m happy with the person I married. I Marriage is necessary if you want your partner to be on your insurance policy, if you want to get the marriage deductions on your income tax. Does anyone else cringe when parents bring up marriage? Like it genuinely makes me feel like I want the ground to open up and swallow me I’m only 23 (still feel like 19?!) and am absolutely not looking to get married right now, but even if I was, I wouldn’t want to do it the “arranged way” (no hate to anyone who has, I know it works, but for me personally I just want to meet someone Christian Marriage is a subreddit for marrieds, soon-to-be marrieds, daters, and singles for discussing all things related to marriage from a Christian perspective. Edit: There are definitely very good questions in the list and I It as been noted time and again some people get married and after marriage they pressurize their spouses, specially women are pressurized to convert and women are not allowed to teach their religion to their kids. My wife and I dated and talked about marriage for 3 years. We have 4 kids (21,16,13 and 11). Talk to her. It was over 40,000 denars, but I could still marry her after she said we I am 33 F met 38 M via typical arranged marriage setup through mutual relatives. Even if you reconcile, the trust will never return to what it was. We're more of "this is causing problems, lets do less of that, focus on something positive" I wish I had the answer but I can only talk about what my wife and I struggle with, and this is what I want her to understand. We both are recovering the relationship from the breaking The third date - check if both people want marriage eventually and if they want kids. Trying to talk to him about things is exhausting as well. Since now we have a few more prospects but they are from different cities and are willing to travel to come see me, my family and everything. Marriage is the basic building block of society which allows two people to go all in together and help better each other so each may grow in financial security in turn. View community ranking In the Top 5% of largest communities on Reddit. " Fix X. In that case, you just have to decide whether you want to be miserable forever just to avoid divorce or whether you want to end it and make the rest of your life better. There is traditional method that you often see in TV or movies. I have some friends who had a love marriage, some happy, some divorced. 8K comments. It's crazy to me how people would consider marriage with people they barely know. Those who married in the 2000s are so far divorcing at even lower rates. If you stay together for the kids, then commit to it. PS. Take that seriously, and ask yourself if you really want to be married to someone who treats you like this. Or check it out in the app stores   I would try playing a couple board games with her until she likes you more n then maybe try again. Essentially, she married me so she didn’t have to take her parents finances into account when asking for Pell grants and student loans. if they don’t like them anymore over something small they just leave the marriage because thats the example of love they were shown growing up. if not hence the all time odd time messaging. r/Marriage A chip A close button. You mentioned "sweet notes" but he probably needs something deeper. If they are the eldest son/daughter, you should be able to talk to the head of their family and arrange the marriage. thomaswomas. Old. However 1 person must be responsible to draw the lines & boundaries & if your husbands allows it then he needs to be accountable for any rifts. Prior to marriage, he cleaned up his ailing credit so we'll both have excellent credit. So naturally we see more people who are unhappy on the internet. ADMIN MOD Pain and regret . Sep 25, 2024. No matter how calm I am when bringing up issues with our relationship or telling him what’s bothering me he immediately gets defensive. • 3 yr. That might be the best course of action for you as well. Yet, I felt nothing. ” It doesn’t put him instantly on guard since it’s not accusatory but indicates it not just a little or passing thing you want to talk about. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Log In / Sign I am 25F currently married to a 34M for about 8 years. We got married about a year before we submitted the case and have a very solid case. I think "talk about marriage" just improves romance / relationship but you still have to actually propose if you want to marry them. The only way a marriage can recover is if the wayward spouse does the work to determine why they cheated, establishes and maintains boundaries, and does everything possible to make the betrayed spouse feel safe in the marriage. Do not bully or harass other users. Love & Sex. . I asked her to marry me the first week in Aug 1995 on a Monday and we married that Friday of Aug 1995. I My hubby (m40) and I (f36) have been married 9 years and together 6 years prior to getting married. either the guy has not made up his mind to get married or to get married to said girl hence his parents wants the girl to talk and expects that their boy gets interested. I don't have any excitement in romantically meeting anyone, either via AM or any other means. Do they want to live in an RV or settle Stop Keeping Score. Sadly, this isn't always the case. Best. I have friends on both sides. Real talk folks! I've kept that in mind ever since and have made it a point to steer us away from I was in a sexless marriage for 7 years- literally no sex for the last 5 years of our marriage and married for 8. People do change but just because you don't have the same interests anymore doesn't mean you should split. **From our This community doesn't have any posts yet Make one and get this feed started. For those who have never heard of a marriage pact, it's essentially where two friends who are seemingly struggling to have a long term relationship agree that by a certain age or within a certain time frame, if both people aren't in a committed relationship/married, they marry each other instead of continuing on the struggle bus. He 1. You can only assess about their basic qualities like empathy, mental strength etc; and have to believe that you will work together when things happen in the future. My wife and I began our open marriage before we were even married. Good luck, I hope you guys can work things out. Again, not trying Perhaps they once shared, or seemed to share, more interests. Reddit's Best Relationship Advice. Sadly, she used this marriage as a tool to defraud federal student aid. Living together before marriage increases the chances of later divorce by more than 2 times. If current trends continue, nearly two-thirds of marriages will never involve I think you guys are just really blessed and lucky. This is also a safe place to talk about monogamy, polygamy Press J to jump to the feed. Never. Having no relationship was an ok expectation in line with market then. Marriage is a beautiful thing and should be worked on and worked on and worked on if there’s trouble Other people's responses are not invitations for your judgment, argument, attempts to invalidate, or to use as jumping off points to talk about yourself or whatever topic you want to discuss. Without that I do trust him, but I don't want to go trough the same shit all over again. Marriage & Divorce. Talk about why your sex life has dropped off and ask her to work with you to make it better. Sure some marriages should break up, but there are lots where they throw in the towel way too early. I am usually not the jealous type but while we were going out, he Relationships can ebb and flow, it doesn’t mean the spark is permanently gone. If they already moved in together I don't understand why they are even waiting to get married. His marriage will never be the same. We are both high earners and bring in salaries over $200k individually. Our marriage has Skip to main content. Sothe older I get, the less I've come to believe that communication is the magic tool that If you're single you can be lazy unhappy and unfulfilled just like if you are married. Doctor prescribed meds for it, but told me the best option is to get married. My boyfriend (40) and I (33) have been dating for about 14 months. Two months after our court wedding, my husband's friend came to stay with us, as he had done several times before for snowboarding trips. There's usually no reason for it. You have to be selfless. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you If anyone finds this and is wondering, I believe it is still possible to buy the marriage. A place where you can testify about what God has done. I sometimes look back The main thing to note is that Jesus says we won't "marry" or "be given in marriage," but He does not talk about anyone who is already married. I am usually not the jealous type but while we were going out, he We talk about current events, we talk about things our family/friends have told us, we talk about plans, we talk about our animals, our neighbors, our house, hobbies, our jobs, cars, the price of iron and steel, the price of lumber, things we want to do, food, he shows me a LOT of random YouTube videos, he shows me random pimples on his ass, we In two years of marriage, I can count on one hand the number of times we were physically intimate and the last time traumatized me from ever trying again for the remainder of the marriage (thankfully only lasted a few months past that before I moved out and filed for divorce). We’ve Deciding when to have “the talk” about marriage in relationships is a big deal. One of those women I think "talk about marriage" just improves romance / relationship but you still have to actually propose if you want to marry them. In turn, the more pressured you feel the less ready to propose you feel. Reddit » Marriage Advice. If you want your partner to be able to make decisions for you if you become incapacitated, if you want your partner to be able to keep any property or belongings that the two of you have required. It has nothing to do with what really matters in a marriage. Surprisingly, Reddit has several of the best wedding planning tips, from wedding invitation RSVP info to plus-one etiquette. Lol. Please pray for my marriage and situation God knows about it I need His help in this marriage He knows how to help me. Controversial. If he does want to get married it shouldn't be a vague "I want to get married someday. And the same with wedding bands. 3K. And to assume everyone has a marriage like yours but complain about it is foolish. I finally brought up the marriage talk and it didn't go as expected. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. I still want her in my like. Before marrying him, he told me casually he spoke to her every 3-4 days, I gave him the ring back but we worked things out. Valheim Genshin I got married about a year ago, and this was simply just not the case for me. **From our Rules: God’s intention for sex is My husband (32) and I(28) have been together for almost 5 years, married in less than 6 months. Each of you will need to put in the work or nothing will come of it. Oct 5, 2024. We went together to shop for an engagement ring. And it doesn't stop here, with time it's rabbit hole of subjugation and misogyny. Is there a standard structure that marital counsellors use in terms of questioning and discussing ? Can it end up doing mpre harm by dredging up more r/Marriage_Sucks: A place to vent about the problems and issues associated with being a married person. Sort by: Top. The two times he's ever brought up marriage though, was when he was drunk. We instantly connected. A resolution This has to be one of the greatest posts in the history of Reddit. You need to have a conversation with her about how you’re feeling less close lately. Or maybe she How much ever we try to find compatibility, one should realize that Marriage and especially Arranged one always has a percentage of compromise. In 14 years of marriage I think MAYBE 3 times I've talked to my best friend about it. NSFW. He is an incredible father. With the marriage, FL gets the license to be attracted to the ML and is not shamed for being a hypocrite/immoral by being attracted to her enemy. A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. You both need to be okay about having a long So I’m a US citizen and my wife applied for a marriage based green card in Aug 2023. r/relationship_advice A chip A close button If he's just talking in a "wouldn't it be nice eventually in the future" way, or if he means it but also takes the time to sincerely listen to your opinions about marriage, that doesn't seem like too much of a concern. **From our Rules: God’s intention for sex is Reddit's Marriage Manual {always a work in progress - last update: 2 December, 2023} This Wiki is a labor of love for those laboring to love and also for those doing great with their marriages. Gaming. Work at it, examine it, examine your part He mostly talks about his job, but doesn't ask me about anything going on in my life. Offer them some time to think So I have been married to my wife for over a year and a half, but we been dating for 6 years. I wouldn't count on it happening by October. Here's what I found being most important: Figure out the topics you'll most likely fight about as early as possible, and try to solve them early as well. By being married she was able to claim just my measly Let's talk about the pros and cons. We have two small children under 5. But whenever we ask them (there are 2) to bring girl along so that even I can tell and talk to her and know about her more, but they deny. If these talks are about your disappointment, it will only increase his shame. In fact, statistics show that one out of every four marriages ends in divorce. This is also a safe place to talk about monogamy, polygamy Marriage topics go beyond the romantic—they include money, kids, values, and even household duties. In the end you'll both have a better feeling to stay or part each ways and you'll each learn things about yourself and your spouse good and bad. New. Be prepared to listen to him with an open heart too, not just wanting to be heard yourself. I married her because she was someone I wanted in my life & I thought I was better off with her than without her. **From our Rules: God’s intention for sex is 147 votes, 16 comments. I begged and pleaded for us to deal with it, and he refused to communicate at all. When Skip to main content. Open comment sort options. We both are divorcee. If I talk about my life, he doesn't seem interested and rarely responds. Create a post My husband and I are in our early 30s. when one half says "I am not happy about X", do not respond with "ok but I am unhappy with Y. 1. We talked about each one’s expectations and agreed that it would be sex only, no relationships. This old wound seemed to be opened up pretty easily, which makes me worry about whether this has been truly addressed for her - if she needs to talk about this more. Members Online • Frosty-Panda-3131. We dated for years before we got married and have a bunch of proof. When we both pour our time and energy into each other, it makes us stronger as a couple. I am tired of being married. " Or "I am really In those cases, no amount of therapy or prayer or whatever people try to do to save the marriage is going to make it better. Get App Log In. You can't build a marriage until you've built a firm foundation for your marriage to stand on, and that's going to take longer than a year dating. i thought a simple “will you marry me” on the sign would do The guy was married, we had hang out together, him and his wife and me and my wife (girlfriend at the time) at Christmas parties etc. She's not malicious it's just her way. Marriage has a more basic purpose, and that is to bind a family together to raise children. What to talk and what not to? I don't know how to even Lack of sex had become an issue that I brought up to make her feel guilty rather than out of any actual attraction for this person I called my wife. Otherwise if you're looking for marriage you may have to talk to her clan leader to ask for her hand. I have been with people who don’t want children, do not want to get married, do want children, do want to get married and others who have jumped back and forth through out the relationship. He is literally mourning the death of his marriage, because whatever marriage he might be in in the future is different from the one he was in for many years. Log In / Sign Up; Advertise so my girlfriend, who i hope to soon be engaged too, is running a 5k for her birthday and i wanted to use that opportunity to propose to her but im a little suck on how it should do it. No relationship ever stays shiny, new, perfect . So, he wants specific examples of the things I’m talking Here's my main piece of advice: A lot of folks will say "wait for the right time to talk about things". Log In / Sign Up; Advertise I’m 28, my boyfriend is 35 and it has been a year since moved in together and a year and a half since we’ve became a couple. r/MM_RomanceBooks A chip A close button. You're not married to him yet. my parents have a traditional Latino lifestyle and while I was going through all of that they were willing to help just me and not bf and it didn’t sit right with me to just leave and go to my parents house and leave my partner living out We didn't interact much before marriage. And it doesn't matter if he's How many married men actually talk about their feelings with their wives? Does it really happen? What does that look like? How are they expressed? How is it received and or addressed? Do you feel validated? Do you feel taken seriously? Does whatever impacts you negatively change? Share Add a Comment. If you ate a ton, keep your bum towards the exit. In your next relationship, don't cheat. This question asks what the point of marriage is and not whether or not you are interested in getting married personally Skip to main content. If you're reading this article and your marriage is struggling, there's hope! We'll discuss 3 main reasons behind failing marriage and how to fix it so you can have The duration of a marriage tells you NOTHING about the health of a marriage, and the ultimate goal should be growing together, not merely staying together. I don't make a lot of money (less than $40k/year), I don't have a vehicle (we share our car), and we have no family nearby (my family is 4 hours away), so separating isn't an easy choice for me. Q&A. Both of us were like what the point we have lived 30 years of our life if someone is hungry they will eat 😆 We used to talk once a week. Try telling him what you got from the book. But just like like it isn’t rare for people to go to work and act like they have some sense, it isn’t rare for many married people to show up in their marriages and act like they have some sense. e. This is my second marriage and I came into our marriage with two kids so making this work is super important to me. There was no gm or gn or did you have your both. We never understood talking for hours daily. by Alyssa K. Never about sex (people talk about sexual 142 votes, 34 comments. by MattMatt. Even if his wife agrees to close the marriage again, he still knows she fucked somebody else. Neither have been involved in any prior relationships. Hier sollte eine Beschreibung angezeigt werden, diese Seite lässt dies jedoch nicht zu. Folks here talk about all sorts of different countries all over the world, all of them so different from each other that the idea of "traditional" is gonna vary from one spot to the next. I recommend looking up the work of John Gottman for a Why in the world through 30+ years of marriage did you not stop to think about where you wanted to be in the end? Edit: I'm not saying that you should hold the same exact ideas as when you first get married to the very end of your relationship. She'll sense that and become even more sexually withdrawn especially the longer the engagement goes on with marriage still being a question So marriage is a lot of work because you have to compromise. We'll be going out on a date today and I just want God to bless my marriage so it's not mundane or Does anyone else cringe when parents bring up marriage? Like it genuinely makes me feel like I want the ground to open up and swallow me I’m only 23 (still feel like 19?!) and am absolutely not looking to get married right now, but even if I was, I wouldn’t want to do it the “arranged way” (no hate to anyone who has, I know it works, but for me personally I just want to meet someone Some but NOT ALL Kids that have to live through this then end up dating later in life treat marriage like its just dating someone. Skip to main content Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. I and my wife, both in early thirties, are married for 5 years. I met my second husband and the difference is night and day. Just agreed in the coming year we would get married. There was not even a competition. To start from the beginning, the show started off very strong. Everyone is different. Have the marriage talk with her and see if she is on the same page as you He hasn’t ever yelled at me he just talks loudly over me when I’m a discussion. Or check it out in the app stores     Marriage counseling is a lot of work that you both have to work on. It feels super awkward. His parents had a nasty divorce when he was a kid, and he said he absolutely doesn't want to go I have been with people who don’t want children, do not want to get married, do want children, do want to get married and others who have jumped back and forth through out the relationship. r/Marriage. Tell her that you won’t get married until you’re 30-33, tell her the date you’ll be having kids and let her decide whether she wants to waste anymore time with you. How does that sound? Keep in mind, the person may want to take this step but may not be ready to immediately answer on the spot. What to talk and what not to? I don't know how to even Unless it’s temporary and you can’t afford your own place yet then you need to get your own place so that you can be married freely and engage in sexual activities freely. This is because we are mostly working class people and men has to become stable financially through his own efforts before getting married. u/HizCupcake. So, try to make your partner comfortable amd go to sleep. It's not all abuse and belligerence. "There is no reason to keep score,” Redditor Looking for marriage advice? Hidden in Reddit threads is some genuinely great, lived-in advice about relationships shared by people just looking to help. The issue is I’ve always been financially responsible with a focus on living within my means, saving, planning for big expenses (travel, house renovations, cars, etc), and Starting dating in Nov 1994. r/marriageadvice: Need advice about your marriage? Talk to random strangers on the internet about it here. Reply reply [deleted] • ESPECIALLY Number 2! This is not If he's just talking in a "wouldn't it be nice eventually in the future" way, or if he means it but also takes the time to sincerely listen to your opinions about marriage, that doesn't seem like too much of a concern. It sucks, but it is an important thing to talk about or it’s just inevitable hurt in the future. I could have been his wingwoman at a singles bar. Maybe the 'hope' in me about getting married and having children is dead. I'm saying that you probably want to talk about what your ideas are and bounce it off of your partner I have only been married since December, it was something that was rushed it’s a long story but I’ll start with what’s going on now. and it seemed like a really healthy relationship. If you have not had marriage counseling, that would be a good step if she is willing. It's a place where you can share your struggles and victories. You're not only allowed to talk before marriage, you HAVE to talk. Stumbled on this sub not long ago and what I ain't grasping is what does it mean to have a "traditional" woman or marriage. He's telling you who he is. It can also be helpful to confide in a trusted family member or friend about r/TalkAboutMarriage: A place to talk about being married, getting divorced, or whatever. I’m sure it’s more open now days. I am 35 weeks Skip to main content. Sort by: Best. so marriage was really just a formality in the eyes of the Marriage can be hard for many, especially once children come into it. Commit to rebuilding and nurturing the Christian Marriage is a subreddit for marrieds, soon-to-be marrieds, daters, and singles for discussing all things related to marriage from a Christian perspective. We have been talking 3 months and met multiple times. Families kinda knew each other via distant relatives. There should be some dollars that are fun and free money for each. On the first day, I talked to her casually, asked what she liked, etc etc, the usual questions. So of course the recent book collection posts and Skip to main content. You have to put in a lot of effort to make it work. We had no surprise proposal. Sex is part of the marriage. Fast Forward to Relationship Bliss (Most Days!) With my amazing partner, communication feels way easier! We don't see eye-to-eye on everything, but we can actually talk things through. We welcome you to discuss the many issues we all face in our marriages in /r/Marriage as a non-professional online support group. I see a lot of people talk about marriage counseling on here, either recommending it or having issues with it. I say no I’m married than I go to the lady’s room and talk him up. All good advice! I'd like to add: Finish your education first!! I see so many young SOs saying "oh, I'm in college, but I want to get married and move to his base because I love and miss him," which is all well and good, but part of preparing for the worst is acknowledging your marriage might not work out. We don't. Hope this helps like i how so i talk and break the ice as i haven't really talked much with her as its an arranged marriage . What do couples talk about? Ask r/Marriage. r/relationship_advice A chip A close button A chip A close button We talked about random stuffs, our life, not boring but nothing like two people getting married usually talk. Or maybe I'm just confused and after too many emotionally numbing instances, I'm just done and I'd expect to talk a bit about our life goals and plans on a first date, so talking about marriage in a general sense would be good to know if your life plans are compatible. Need advice about your marriage? Talk to random strangers on Scan this QR code to download the app now. He doesn't talk about anything he's feeling, unless he's annoyed about something I've done. I love arranged marriage and related tropes, and I love organizing books. Since we’ve gotten together, he always says that he wants to marry me and talks about it a lot in detail and says that he can see a future with me, etc, etc. Not to mention, having to Something else is that those who are happily married are not spending time on reddit. What I mean by talk, is I bring up I have seen lots of people who don't talk about all this stuff before marriage and then it creates friction between them whether it's walking all over the other parent situation or misleading each other about wanting or not wanting kids. Having the woman confront the intern about her I have a chronic health condition which makes health insurance important. ⁠If they have ever lived on their own or in hostels - How would they rate themselves as a roommate - That's essentially what being in a marriage is. He mostly talks about his job, but doesn't ask me about anything going on in my life. Iirc, the price reduces from $50 down to $5 Worth looking into, especially if you're going to be doing the counseling anyway. Expand user menu Open settings menu. I just don't feel like getting married or be with someone. For example today I've stressed because of work, releasing music, making video and family stuff. And work on making the relationship good all along, instead of waiting until your partner isn't willing to work on There is a feeling you feel as if they are the right and waiting wouldn’t change anything about those feelings. And honestly I wish that was a more socially acceptable thing to do. • 1 mo. And it doesn't matter if he's Marriage is a sacred bond between two people who vowed to spend the rest of their lives together. I would think approaching your husband and stating your recognize the problem and need to talk so a resolution can be found. Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more! Here are 10 Best Marriage Counseling Forums you should follow in 2024. Please read the question asked. r/marriageadvice: Need advice about your marriage? Talk to random strangers on the internet about it here. Marriage talks with broken engagement girl . And there's many other methods. He’s not a violent man nor violent tempered. It’s just that people in happy marriages don’t talk about it as much or get any ‘press’ so to speak. I've really come to see as I age that people can talk and communicate and discuss and have a very clear plan in place for X (marriage, moving to a new state, one parent becoming a SAHP) but sometimes it all falls apart when the reality of X starts in. I know that his mother and sisters are pressuring him to put a ring on it, so I try to keep I know I’m late but can we talk Love ft. But him and I started talking about marriage and what we want after a few months of being together. For first night after marriage - Not my advice, I read it earlier on Reddit on a simolar question: Arranged marriages in India are such a long and tedious affair, by the end of it you just want to lie down and sleep. I'm just wondering if there are any couples out there We have been married 17 years so there is limitless crap we can pull out of our history together to highlight past wrongs and that just derails what could be a quick resolution. I kept the tone normal similar to how I would talk to a new friend or acquaintance. If you ignore the rocks and crash your boat, all the counseling in the world can't restore it to what it once was. But it's not all rainbows and cookies either. There are millions of relevant things to talk about that have nothing to do with flirting, like how I'm a husband and when my unmarried friends or people I know talk about marriage and love, my advice is always that it takes work/effort. Look at how each of you spend money now and discuss the needs and wants that cause you to spend money now. A few months - talk more about the future and what they see. I told him why is it my responsibility two adults are close? Also why can't they just talk? Weird part is I've been trying I do trust him, but I don't want to go trough the same shit all over again. Talk about what was modeled for you growing up, and what behaviors you are likely to use when stressed. I sympathize with OP as I also feel stuck in a marriage with someone that in hindsight I simply shouldn't have married. How long did you talk to your spouse before marriage? And were you in the same location? How much of this was in person? Share Add a Comment. It’s not the only thing in the marriage. Log In / Sign Up; I brought it up a year and a half in because we had to be long distance, so I was discussing our options of closing the gap in the future. I have spoken to him about marriage in subtle ways and I have also tried having real conversations about it but he just seems to take the compliment of me wanting to marry him some day and seems to avoid talking about that topic (it doesn’t seem reciprocated) We've started seeing a certified marriage counselor twice a month, but I'm doubtful we're going to see any benefit from these sessions. r/TrueOffMyChest A chip A close button. Now days even arrange marriage - people talk and they get to know each other before marriage. Consistently, looking for outside perspectives to ground you isn't a good sign. And maybe that says more about me that the movie itself, but I wasn't invested in the characters at all. Search all of Reddit. Since then, my Remember those fights that dragged on forever? We'd just talk in circles, and honestly, by the end, I felt more like roommates than lovers. Talk about a budget and how and what to save for before marriage, but be at least a little flexible after marriage. I also use this when something outside our relationship is bothering me and I There's no way that can happen by Saturday. A prenup just adds more paper. I have a chronic health condition which makes health insurance important. r/TalkAboutMarriage: A place to talk about being married, getting divorced, or whatever. All my married friends say marriage is a compromise. In my community, even our previous generation got married pretty late. r/TalkAboutMarriage. I don't Talk about important issues when you are both in the right headspace. I hope she was told that he is married. My friend has asked to talk about matrimony with another friend (L) whose engagement got broken recently To give a background a couple of months before L’s engagement my friend approached her on my behalf for love cum arranged marriage but she I honestly feel if you are consistently compelled to seek advice from others and talk to others about marriage problems, probably a good sign you've got a toxic marriage. Review There are spoilers so beware before reading! 😁 I just finished watching the show and this probably one of the most confusing and drawn out storylines I have ever experienced in a drama. His son was 6 years old when we got married and we saw him every other weekend. Still married After 26 years. For some it's a hit, for some a miss. It's not that often and not We didn't interact much before marriage. No idea about what to do. it’s not like old days anymore Reply reply Sensitive_Camera2368 • Lack of sex had become an issue that I brought up to make her feel guilty rather than out of any actual attraction for this person I called my wife. You would think folks who’ve been around the marital block are better at knowing what works for them; but instead it seems a lot of people are too settled in their ways as they age. You can only find out after you get married. I Hier sollte eine Beschreibung angezeigt werden, diese Seite lässt dies jedoch nicht zu. He used to be a passionate husband. As a newly married woman, I can’t image how miserable I’d be having to sneak around and stress so that I can have sex with my husband. Get app Get the Reddit app Log In Log in to Reddit. You choose to love someone and pour your energy into them. Please pray for me to be wiser, stronger, healthier, to improve my physique, for my finances to improve so I can provide a better life for those around me. Emotionally, the idea of my chronic condition holding me back from getting married is taking a toll on me. You may even need to push hard on him because the shame is very strong and he won't be able to easily let his guard down. The most important advice that I can give, is that your marriage should be in a very healthy state before you open it. Because not only is he struggling to provide financially, he is struggling to provide emotionally. For months, she left every Friday night and would return on Sunday night. I read this statistic a while ago that couples wait So they become more sympathetic when they are trapped in a forced marriage and are vulnerable and have to use their wits to get out of a sticky situation. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Not trying to talk you out of your beliefs, and I obviously don’t have the details on the data your counselor cited, but I’d guess the reason most people who wait until marriage don’t get divorced isn’t necessarily because their relationships are better, but because they’re religious and don’t believe in divorce. They want to see everything about us and then they like or want I (23f) have been with bf (24m) for 3 years and have overcame many struggles together such as homelessness, him help putting me through college, etc. We don't have sex too often, but that's because of him, he thinks that sex is overrated, I have much bigger sex drive than him. Here are the golden Christian Marriage is a subreddit for marrieds, soon-to-be marrieds, daters, and singles for discussing all things related to marriage from a Christian perspective. I’m 49M, we have been married 24 years, together since we were both 21. Health insurance is something we'll be combining soon and after my ticket drops off of my driving record in November, I will make a change in my auto policy and it'll be cheaper. Both in the form of soft evidence like pictures, vacations together, etc as well as hard evidence, stuff In those cases, no amount of therapy or prayer or whatever people try to do to save the marriage is going to make it better. so far i came up with wanting to write a sign and present it to her at the finish line of her race but i just dont know what the sign should say. Share. Basically, he says that he is not against marriage or even getting married, but he is more afraid of divorce. It's not hard, because my wife also pours that love and energy in. I don't feel comfortable discussing my own feelings with him because I feel judged-- he will Skip to main content. Real talk folks! I've kept that in mind ever since and have made it a point to steer us away from About 70 percent of marriages that began in the 1990s reached their 15th anniversary (excluding those in which a spouse died), up from about 65 percent of those that began in the 1970s and 1980s. I never wanted to get married and neither did my husband. Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home. It takes over When I was 19 years old I was married civilly to a woman who I was in love with. Reply reply mojaam • 1 year 6 months When you do have this talk be wary of answers that sound good but carry no actual commitment. 7 Times Reddit Played Referee for Couples & Really Nailed the Relationship Advice. The vast majority of people I know would have broken up with their partner if they had tried to have a convo like that prior to marriage talks It helps to talk about expectations and potential issues before you're in the middle of an argument. 27. I use something along the lines of “Something has been gnawing at my brain/heart and I need to talk to you about it. Reply reply netuniya • This is so true a lot of Reddit is negativity anyway,, so tbh Reddit shouldn’t be the reason to judge how most people/the world is I stopped using Reddit a lot after getting married 😅🥲 didn’t realize it That’s quite late and risks her not being able to have a baby. And don't hesitate to provide good things about Nobody can singlehandedly save their marriage if their spouse doesn't want to save it. Anyone know? Skip to main content. We've been married 13 years now and everytime we have this talk, he treats it like the first time he's heard it. Health & Wellness. We got married and had kids very early into our marriage, so we never really got a chance to enjoy each other as a married couple—and then Covid hit. And knowing how to have a conversation about getting engaged and married is something everyone wants to get right. User account menu. Log In / Sign Up; Marriage Story had all the right ingredients: a great script, phenomenal acting, a grittingly real situation. He My husband (39M) and I (35F) have been married for 9 years, together 12 years. If a marriage is unhappy that doesn't mean it can't be worked Before I was married I had an irregular heart beat due to single-guy life choices. That way, we can also get our folks to talk to each other first and see where it goes from there. Also if you are planning on moving aboard to find a job before taking your wife and kids with you. So we had take out and talked expectations, goals, and deal breakers. I am unsure if getting married would disqualify us from this, since it does not seem like the threshold for a couple is double the threshold for a single person. Maybe I'm so far removed from the idea of marriage, let alone divorce, that there wasn't any relatability in My boyfriend talks about marriage every time he is drunk? We've only been dating a few months, but have known each other for over 5 years. 2. Talk about marriage? Help! What exactly does this social option do? I went to Google it before I accidentally caused an issue in my sim's relationship if they ask too early, and I got nothing. Ultimately, because I had always seen divorce as inevitable, I had never given my marriage a chance. Period I won’t put up with not being able to just speak to me husband without getting frustrated. For most people it takes We need to have a heavy talk or there is no point. It made me wonder how successful it is in helping repair things or are most Marriage isn't great and now my wife has new images of her ex. S. You don't have to manage his emotions for him. And he's telling you what your marriage will be like. true. There's not a surefire way to a perfect marriage but communication, care, and HEALTHY boundaries are essential. I also use this when something outside our relationship is bothering me and I Action Movies & Series; Animated Movies & Series; Comedy Movies & Series; Crime, Mystery, & Thriller Movies & Series; Documentary Movies & Series; Drama Movies & Series And you can't undo it. I would feel it's a red flag only if he's trying to talk you into marrying if you aren't ready. I think your husband appears to have mentioned this issue a few times but you have not attempted to talk about and come up with a working solution. Talk about whether it will be better to stop and let things calm down or And you can't undo it. We already had kids, a home together, a life together, etc. r/relationship_advice A chip A close button A chip A close button I use something along the lines of “Something has been gnawing at my brain/heart and I need to talk to you about it. And now, he talks with his ex and he didn't tell me about it, ofcourse. We were able to have a decent talk last night and I explained to him that is he doesn’t stop he’s losing me. Especially if you're in the marriage-sex bind, where she feels increasingly guilty to have sex before marriage and therefore pressures you more for marriage. Then when we got married, he blamed me saying that his wife is uncomfortable around my wife because I never took the initiative to make them close. Government involvement and lack of basic safeguards are a major problem. Our families are rather conservative and the marriage was fixed and done within just 1 month of meeting for the first time. I DESPERATELY need insight into how to save my marriage and help pull my husband out of this 4+ year funk he's been in. So I think he sort of gave up in a way, thinking he'd already done the hard work. However, ever since having ⁠What is the reason for them agreeing to an arranged marriage? - To gauge if they are being forced into it and if they are mature enough to handle a commitment like marriage. Now, he is responding to a hypothetical situation where people ARE already married, and says we will be "like" the angels. We have learned that there is no such thing as "a right time". gaek npzv llqu dvqa ljxn ndz qlnfh nloq xhsd ych